i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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