He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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