could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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