I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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