he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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