you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
