if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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