I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
