Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
