put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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