shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
