I seem to have left my pride at pride
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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