ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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