smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
