so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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