It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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