You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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