i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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