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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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