How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Randomize
