It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
