I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
