4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
