I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
