so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
