id be glad to
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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