HIV tests are more positive than that guy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
