so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
