Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
