I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
