I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
