why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
