Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
