6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
