I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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