I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize