Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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