hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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