if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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