; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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