I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
God I need to hump something, right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
