Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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