That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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