ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
