dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
