I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this just has baby written all over it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
