I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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