Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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