She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
