Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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