No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
