I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
