Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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