I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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