For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
