We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
