where am i from again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
