shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We got so high we made milksteak
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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