i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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