The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
