Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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