Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
