This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
