I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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